Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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