You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
