I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
