now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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