Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
