Your face is a jimmy john
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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