I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
