i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
