just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
