I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
