She's JV to your varsity
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
