I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
