shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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