just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
