So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
