I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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