the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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