You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
