I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
