the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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