Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
