The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
4 words: hood of his car
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
