I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
