dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
