youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
