So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
