He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
