the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
