C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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