Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
