Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
