He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
