the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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