I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
