she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize