He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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