Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
