Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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