i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
