Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The Olympian is in my bed
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