ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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