32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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