just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
