she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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