2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
