I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
