I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
