i jhust puked up my retainher.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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