Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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