No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
